So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
