the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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