Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
