just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize