Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
