this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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