He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
