Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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