called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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