marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just wanna soil my oats bro
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
