so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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