I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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