Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
