Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
