i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
