So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize