I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
