He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
