i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
