i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
