My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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