I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize