what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
