Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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