Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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