HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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