Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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