Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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