She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
