He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
