Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
