Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
