all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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