Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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