Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
