so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
