do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Let's get the cat blown out
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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