girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
