you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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