At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
