Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
