Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
