billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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