last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
