does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You ruined the universe
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize