Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
