I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize