i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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