I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
