Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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