He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
