Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
