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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels

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• (914): View more from New York

  I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.

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