Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(772): View more from Florida

I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.

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(772): I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring. http://tfl.nu/9i68

Replies (10) Good night (2335) Bad night (888)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

(773): View more from Illinois

Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

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(773): I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex. (773): Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"? http://tfl.nu/bxnr

Replies (15) Good night (913) Bad night (2195)
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(209): View more from California

Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.

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(209): Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball. http://tfl.nu/0g16

Replies (13) Good night (1380) Bad night (1903)
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(480): View more from Arizona

he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!

(602): View more from Arizona

so its atleast an 8 for creativity.

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(480): he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?! (602): so its atleast an 8 for creativity. http://tfl.nu/ungw

Replies (22) Good night (1503) Bad night (5732)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

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(678): Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans. http://tfl.nu/jpyk

Replies (32) Good night (8737) Bad night (1067)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.

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(+61): I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude. http://tfl.nu/5t8b

Replies (32) Good night (8697) Bad night (1150)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

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(847): Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine? http://tfl.nu/wblw

Replies (39) Good night (4193) Bad night (1904)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.

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(484): we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song. http://tfl.nu/huqy

Replies (10) Good night (4787) Bad night (922)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan

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(614): I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan http://tfl.nu/3du7

Replies (3) Good night (2469) Bad night (740)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?

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(604): If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair? http://tfl.nu/cjor

Replies (7) Good night (669) Bad night (862)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward

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(414): btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward http://tfl.nu/opuz

Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (376)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.

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(780): Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies. http://tfl.nu/mgn4

Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (895)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day

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(617): I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day http://tfl.nu/dw3u

Replies (0) Good night (828) Bad night (397)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.

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(412): So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him. http://tfl.nu/x1lw

Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (352)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.

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(620): Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire. http://tfl.nu/eow7

Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (238)

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