The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
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Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?