omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize